Hurrincane Ike Reception

So I have been meaning to post this, but due to not liking the sound of my voice so  I have hesitated.

 This video is what Janie took at the reception for the Hurricane Ike efforts of my class. 

My wonderful teacher asked my Death and Dying class to help in the evacuees and victims. 

My class was more than excited to help, I was a little hesitant. I thought that with everything going on, and not knowing about nursing school (at the time) I wouldn't be able to devote a lot of time. 

By the time our hurricane efforts where underway I had took charge.

I started an email group for our class to stay organized, helped organize the college officials to get permission to ask for donations at the college, include the community, speak to classes, and help with shipment to Saint Vincent de Paul( the organization we worked with). 

I felt like I could have done more, but it was nice to be a part of something so big. 

All in all our efforts help gain donations of food, hygiene products, blankets, clothes, baby needs, and other needs. We received enough donations to equal a monetary sum of over $50,000. 

It was great helping, and this project just made me feel right about my decision to become a social worker. 

Memories are just in our head.....right?

So I have spent the past weekend purging,getting rid of, trashing, boxing up 

most of what I own.  And I really kept asking myself.... where does all this come from?????

Before I moved here I lived in a 3 bedroom apartment with only one room that my stuff

was not in. I threw away ALOT. The men at the dump soon knew my name. It was sad.

But I knew that nothing big I had was worth keeping, and that I wouldn't have alot of room 

here. I still boxed up alot.. with the intention of using it in the new 

condo I would be buying 3-6 months after moving here. 

Now almost 3 years later.... I had forgotten all that was boxed up. 

and still had not bought a condo.

So our thanksgiving was spent going through my boxed up stuff and the stuff in my room and 

getting rid of unwanted/forgotten/unused stuff. 

It was hard. on so many levels. 

1. why do we attach so many feelings to really random stuff that may or may not have contributed to a memory.  EX: a white porcelain Buddha: was is special: NO, did it make me sigh really big and go off on a memory tangent to my sister:YES. did I want to keep it: OF COURSE, did I need it: HECK NO. 

I give you another example:

gifts that someone forever ago gave you, that you never really liked, but kept it because it was given to you. And now it is really all you have from that person and you don't really talk to them anymore.  You still have the memory, and it is not like the memory will disappear if you get rid of the gift, but you think that way, and keep it in a box, to rediscover in 3 years, and wonder

 "why the heck did I keep this?"

Janie many times saw this look on my face that I was mentally fighting to get rid of something I didn't need but was justifying someway in my mind. 

I heard this alot:

"You don't NEED it"

I thought this alot

"I might, maybe........no I don't"

2. Clothes: I have ALOT of them, and I wear only a portion. why do I have alot of them, because they all fit. When you are a big girl and can't walk into any store and pick up the first thing you see and know they will have your size, you don't easily give up clothes that fit. No matter how stretched,stained,ripped,mutated it is. 

I pulled out many things that I swear have owned since early 2000s and haven't worn since I moved here. 

I had to let go, it quickly made me feel like I needed to go shopping. 

I didn't though:(

3.It makes you feel kinda small.... I have reduced the contents of my life to as few boxes as I could manage. Which is good in a way.... I feel clean and ready for a fresh start. But also somewhat depressing because I have a small part of my brain saying.... 

"Is that it???? That can't be it????

but a larger part is saying

" That feels so much better, now I can breathe.... "

And even though there were moments that I feared I would forget my past as I got rid of the solid evidence of it, I have discovered that I can fully remember the people,events, and items I wanted to. 

4. and last: It made my fast approaching move seem way to close.  I now sit in a room and is so close to empty I think I hear an echo from the typing keys.  I realized how much I will miss living here, and how much comfort Janie and Kyle have given me. Most people my age are in their own place or clawing at the walls to get out... I am clutching the doorway to stay.  I like being so close to my sister, and being able to stay up till the wee hours of the morning talking about nothing.  You would think that when you know someone from birth topics of conversation are slim, that is not the case for us. 

and I will miss my kids. No I didn't give birth to them, and they don't call me mom, I barely get "Aunt" to come before Meg, but they are mine.  I have lived with Benjamin and Ella before and it was heart wrenching to leave them once. Now I have to leave four of them. I know I will see them on weekends, but it is not the same. When I live here I can spend time with them when they get home from school, talk to them before they go to bed, they can sleep with me, wake me up in the morning(although Maiya has quit that job...apparently I don't like to wake up). 

I am just grateful for being able to be this close with my sister and her family

and I will miss them. 

I love/hate this time of year

I am not a fan of extreme weather, or anything extreme for that matter.

If you can accomplish something than great, trying to do it extreme is just a waste of energy in my book. Same goes for weather. I can withstand a cold day.

But adding Texas wind, and no sun-- too extreme for me.

If I wanted to be frozen at this time of the year I would be living north of

where I actually live.

BUT......

I do love the smell of the cold air, and the crunch of dry twigs and fallen leaves.

I love leaves in general, I have a strange desire to start collecting and making stuff out of dried leaves, it never happens, but in my head it is awesome.

I also love driving through leaves and watching them dance behind my car. This was way fun in VA because we had many more trees that dumped their leaves to the ground, but sometimes you can catch a perfect street down here in Texas that has leaves resting on the pavement just ready for the burst of air produced by your car so they can have a little dance.

AND....

I really really really do love fires. I love them outside and inside. I am not a pyro and it is really

not about watching stuff burn, but more about the glow that only a fire can give.

I love the smell, I have heard many people over my life time say they don't like to smell like a camp fire. I LOVE it. I love the constant need to tend to it and feed it wood.

Fires stir up some of the happiest memories of my childhood.

I love to watch the flames flicker and bounce.

My favorite part of a fire....

Watching the embers glow and pulsate after the flames

have stopped.

Happy Autumn Everyone:)

Hurricane Ike Help--Yes Still Needed

So I am in a death and dying class this semester.

Dealing with loss is a major thing we are learning about

semester.

Early September Hurricane Ike hit Texas, it hit hard.

Most of South Texas was left without hope.

My wonderful teacher was contacted by Saint Vincent de Paul, an

organization that does relief help. They needed our help.

So our class has been on a mission this semester to gather as

much needed food and hygiene goods as possible.

Now their needs have changed.

Because of the destruction many people do not have homes to

sleep in or protection from looters.

Many families are sleeping on their lawns.

The weather is getting colder and they have resorted to sleeping

on pallets of wood stuffed with newspaper.

Below is a picture of a common scene in south Texas.

What I would like to ask....

If you could donate blankets, jackets (all sizes) sweatpants/shirts,

socks,gloves, and gently used clothes

please let me know.

Just leave a comment and I can come pick up any donations

or arrange a place for drop off if you prefer.

Any Collin County Community College campus has a contact person.

Let me know if you want any other info.

I love quotes

(click on pic to read quote)

and Janie's Picures

and Photoshop

Tiny Head Commercial

This is for those who may not understand the reference in the next post.

The Family from Outerspace

So I found out the my laptop has a webcam that can distort your face many different ways. Kinda like the old Fun House Mirrors. Well we had fun with it tonight, and we laughed so hard my side was hurting.My neices and nephew thought is was the next big thing they kept calling it the crazy faces thing.Anyway here are the results let the laughing begin

The tiny head thing reminded me of that commercial.
" Hey can I go home.... I got a tiny head"
"Sure go ahead"



Benjamin: " Hey look at this... its me in 30 years"
Lets hope not!

Hardcore baby



She looks like a precious moments character

She sad thing is that this isn't that much of an exaggeration of her actual forehead

LOVE YA janie

Dragonball Z anyone ?

Its contagious

So I got a camera.

For anyone who doesn't hear me talk about me sister I will let you know

that she is a wonderful budding photographer.

Click here to see her awesome stuff.

anyway, I am no where near as interested in photography as much as

she is, but I still have noticed that my old camera was a little

outdated. I got a cool new camera from NewEgg, which is a

awesome website. For an awesome price.

The canon powershot A590 IS is so cool becuase it is

you basic point and shoot, with advanced features.

So when my camera came today, I asked Janie to explain to me how to use it.

She said:

"Well to control the f-stop you need to be in the manual focus mode, and to get this

effect to need to increase your shutter speed by doing this... and this symbol means this"

Or something to that effect, most of what I heard was

"Wah wah wah,blah, hemina hemina, and you need to blah blah"

and then My eyes glazed over.

Hence I am not into photography as much as she is.

I need to read my manual, or else this will be a useless purchase.

So look forward to my pics, not as cool as hers

but still awesome cuase their mine.

Congratulations!!!

So my wonderful friend Ashley has gotten in nursing school!

I am very proud of her.

Nursing school was one of the first things(amoung other things) that we

have in common.

We met at Home Depot, both cashiers, living with sister's who had three kids

and both in school with a dream of being a nurse.

2 years later

we are still friends

I am no longer chasing the nursing dream, yet I will become a very successful

social worker who will be friends with a

very successful nurse.

I wish you the best of luck!

The Reason for the Blog

My acceptance letter.

I will be going to Arlington in the spring

My sister doesn't like to talk on the phone

She said you have to blog, otherwise I won't know whats

going on in your life.

I have a feeling she would find out whether I blogged or not

but still, I will blog.

I never really expected to transfer to a 4yr university when I started college here.

But this letter still brought tears to my eyes when I read it.

There is something about the all caps

CONGRATULATIONS

that would make anyone feel good about themsleves.

Applying to UTA was the first time in my life that I didn't have to worry

about being turned down, yet I still had a twang of "maybe" while ripping through

the envelope.

No I want to housing to give me a place to live to make it completely official

So come Jan 20, 2009

I will be a Maverick

I will try to make Sarah Palin proud

On Your Mark

Well, I seem to make it a point in life to join the rat race late.

I got a cell phone about 3 years after everyone else did.

I started college about 2 years after everyone else from my high school graduating class was graduating college.

I got a digital camera for my birthday well after that movement started.

And here I am pulling up the rear in the blogging movment. Mind you I waited this long to keep my life in check. I wouldn't want any family or friends to be alarmed by any sudden character changes.

Well we shall see how this works out.